The Wringer

Written by Brandon S. Thompson

Dec. 9, 2001

~

Dedicated to my mother, who lovingly showed me how to avoid all of this nonsense.

The play begins with the characters, chosen entirely by the creative element of the production (As no characters have been defined by me, however spaces have been left to insert the names of the characters or actors of your chosing so to keep track of whose line it is) in what seems to be a very long tableau. Most of the entrances and exits are up to the "element" as well. For instance, the characters the play starts with don't have to be the same as the ones to finish it. There is no set number of characters nor is there a definition for them enclosed. Artistic Liscence renewed!

- You start.

- I wouldn't know what to say.

- Just tell them how you feel.

- Alone.

- It's a good start.

- Why is that, do you think?

- That's a good question.

- I can't answer it myself.

- It's a question of morals, really.

- More a question of how far you're willing to go.

- That has nothing to do with it.

- Of course, there's no reason to blame yourself.

- There's a whole world besides.

- Don't make me face that again.

- You won't be forced.

- Unless you want to.

- Not really.

- Do you know why?

- It's all so big.

- There's too much to learn.

- Can't connect.

- But that's what you like about it, isn't it?

- I used to, but... it's been a while.

- It's only been time enough.

- I suppose, but that doesn't say a great deal.

- More then it did when you started, right?

- In a way.

- Never heals.

- Is that a fact?

- Look at what you've done.

- It's been a long way to the ground.

- Come a long way.

- You shouldn't be ashamed.

- No reason for it, right?

- There's always a reason.

- Can't rightly explain.

- Just go with it.

- Start again.

- Why do I always have to start?

- You just do.

- It's the natural progression of things.

- Can't think of anything.

- What would you like to say?

- About what?

- It's entirely up to you.

- Life.

- That's good.

- What would you like to say about life?

- It's a difficult topic.

- Try

- Still can't think of anything.

- Pity

- Though it's understandable.

- It would be very difficult squeezing an entire eternity of thought into one tiny little, sentence.

- One sentence.

- Is that all I've got?

- It all depends on how you start.

- How I start...

- What if I do it wrong?

- Then you'll just have to go back to the beginning

- And if I get it right, will I be allowed to go on?

- In theory.

- It's all very dependant on who's listening.

- What if it not the right people listening, or even no one at all.

- Then I'm sure we'll find something for you.

- I don't think I understand.

- That would be a good start.

- Does that mean I get to say more?

- You were told

- It depends on whose listening.

- But I thought you approved

- That doesn't make any difference

- Someone must have.

- Not true.

- Then why have you let me go on?

- In case someone starts listening.

- You do deserve a chance, after all.

- Really?

- No.

- Is this your first time?

- I'm sorry?

- That sounds like the voice of experience.

- What do you mean?

- Apologizing is always a good way to begin.

- No, I didn't mean that I was sorry.

- Then why did you say it?

- I was just saying that I didn't hear you. I was being polite.

- That's a pity.

- People like apologies.

- Although good manners can often get you sympathy vote.

- Never-the-less, you should probably go back to the beginning.

- Why?

- It's the natural progression of things

- What is that supposed to mean?

- Well, it's in the rules.

- I see.

- Not yet, but maybe someday.

- Is that in the rules?

- No!

- Could you imagine if it were?

- Total anarchy!

- The rules don't seem very fair.

- That's in the rules too.

- Can you tell me what I've done wrong, you know, for future referrence?

- Nothing.

- Things might just work out better if you went back to the beginning.

- Do you think so?

- No

- But you haven't got a choice.

- Whatever.

- You start.

- Alright.

- Really?

- Sure.

- Bravo!

- Superb!

- What?

- Great start.

- What was?

- You said, "Alright," and, "Sure".

- Yes, I did.

- Brilliant!

- You must be paying attention.

- Of course.

- Amazing.

- You're stunning.

- So confident.

- So positive.

- People could start listening

- Really?

- It's definite if you keep this up.

- That's great!

- I think you might be ready

- Sooner then expected as well.

- Have you been prepped?

- Do you know how to go on from here?

- How to handle things from now on?

- I suppose.

- Great.

- When would you like to get started?

- As soon as possible I guess.

- Excellent.

- How would you like to start things off?

- I don't know.

- Well, now you've lost it.

- I guess you'll have to go back to the beginning.

- What?

- You've ruined it.

- But just a moment ago I was ready.

- Well, not anymore.

- That's the rules.

- So, what would you like to say?

- Can't think of anything.

- You have to say something

- Why?

- Well, it's a rule.

- Again with the rules.

- Usually.

- Then, you decide.

- That's impossible.

- It just doesn't work that way.

- You can't have other people taking responsability for your actions.

- Then, can't I just opt to say nothing then?

- Only if you vow silence.

- Is that the only alternative?

- In theory.

- Then, I vow silence.

- For what reason?

- Reason?

- Yes, you can't just vow something with no reason.

- Fine.

- Is it religious?

- No.

- For love or honour?

- No.

- Have you broken a law?

- No.

- Is it sacred tradition, then?

- No.

- Then you haven't got the right to vow anything.

- That doesn't make any sense.

- Why not?

- It just can't be allowed.

- It would seem indecent.

- Not to mention unfair.

- I thought that was one of the rules.

- Where ever did you get that idea?

- Now you have to go back to the start again.

- What! Why?

- Nobodies listening.

- I see.

- Stop saying that

- It's unhealthy.

- What should I say then?

- What would you like to say?

- I don't know.

- That's good.

- It'll catch some attention.

- Would you consider saying it again?

- Only louder?

- After all, people are taking notes.

- Does that mean people are listening?

- Not even!

- Then why should I say it again?

- You don't need to say it now.

- It just might be good to remember it.

- In case you get in trouble.

- Why would I need it?

- Who knows

- Maybe you'll figure that out

- Until then, you can start again.

- Why do I always have to start?

- You just do.

- Then, how should I start.

- How would you like to start?

- Simple.

- It'll work as well as anything else

- Go ahead.

- Can't think of anything.

- Nothing?

- Well, nothing worth saying.

- How do you know?

- Instinct

- Do you think that's good enough?

- I suppose not.

- Then don't take claim to know things you haven't the first clue about.

- Try again.

- Nothing.

- Actually nothing or just nothing important?

- Actually nothing, I've lost my train of thought now.

- Get it running again then.

- Can't.

- Try a little harder.

- How am I to do that?

- Buckle down.

- Set your mind to it.

- Concentrate.

- No distractions.

- No distractions?

- Exactly.

- I'm not sure that such a thing exists.

- Minimal distractions, then.

- Ready?

- Yes.

- Go!

- Nope.

- Nothing?

- Yup.

- Still.

- Can't blame me for not trying.

- And why not?

- Everyone else has excepted responsablilty

- Why should you be any different?

- Well, I did try.

- What has that got to do with it?

- I thought it was sort of a big factor, actually.

- Prove it?

- What?

- Prove you tried.

- Can't.

- Exactly.

- All that work and nothing to show for it

- Life is tough.

- Not for some.

- Was for me.

- Oh, really?

- Yes.

- Need to talk about it?

- No.

- Want to talk about it?

- Not really.

- Then, will you talk about it?

- Not if I don't have to.

- What's the worry?

- No worry, it's just a very uncomfortable topic for me.

- Why?

- Not sure.

- Afraid someone might be listening.

- Not at all.

- People might listen to something like that.

- They need to

- They want to

- And friend, if you tell all, they will!

- Really?

- Depends.

- On?

- Were you abused?

- No.

- Not mentally?

- No

- Or physically?

- No.

- Sexually?

- No.

- How about emotionally?

- No.

- Remotely, even?

- I guess I was abused a little bit, if you want to go into it, but really no more then anybody-

- That's good

- Let it out.

- Who did it?

- Was it Mom?

- No

- Dad?

- Brothers or sisters?

- Didn't have any.

- Distant relative?

- No.

- Close relative, then?

- No.

- Schoolmates?

- I suppose they did, a little.

- What did they do?

- Just teased me mostly.

- Won't hold up!

- Can't be used

- Stricken from the record.

- Why?

- Simple.

- It's just the natural progression of things.

- It's in the rules, I'll wager.

- Good.

- You're learning.

- But, unfortunately, nobodies listening now, so you'll have to start again

- Can I start with a question?

- You just have.

- Good point.

- Do you plan to follow up with another question?

- I was considering it, yes. Can I ask another question before I go into my original question?

- In theory.

- Okay. Will you answer this aforementioned original question?

- Eventually

- What do you mean, eventually?

- Is it a yes or no question?

- If it was could you answer it right away?

- Often.

- And if it isn't?

- Then it will be assigned a number and it will be answered based on it's

difficulty level, length, context and, of course, the order in which it was

asked in conjuntion with all the other questions.

- Well, how long would that take?

- Oh!

- Most people don't live that long.

- Then what's the point in asking the question to begin with?

- Don't you have a question you've been just dying to know the answer to?

- Well, of course, everyone does. But, why would I bother to get my hopes up

towards an eventual answer when I may not get it until I'm lying

on my death bed, if at all.

- For some people, that's enough.

- What if I plan ahead?

- How do you mean?

- What if I asked a question for future generations to recieve

- That can't happen

- Why not?

- You would have to sign for it when it came.

- Me personally? No one else could do it for me?

- No. It has to be the question's asker.

- However, if you were to recieve it in time, you could always give it away.

- Alright, well, what are the chances of that?

- Slim.

- Very slim.

- But, there is a chance?

- Frankly, no.

- So, what was your question?

- Well, I'm not going to be asking it now.

- Pity, why not?

- If I never see the answer, then, what's the point?

- As previously stated, for some poeple, it's enough.

- It isn't enought for me. Although I can kind of understand it. The

option might give someone a goal in life. I mean, if they know that there is

a true answer to their question, then perhaps one could find it his or herself.

- Who said anything about a "true answer".

- So the answer they've spent their whole lives waiting for may not even necessarily be correct.

- Precisely.

- I guess I won't be starting with a question, then.

- Unless it's yes or no.

- What does that mean, "Unless it's yes or no?"

- You've been told, yes or no questions can sometimes be answered right away.

- Really.

- Yes.

- You did say that, didn't you?

- Yes.

- By God, you're right!

- Well, not by God I'm not, but nobody else needs to know that.

- So I could start off with a yes or no question and possibly get an answer?

- In theory.

- That's good to know.

- ... Well?

- Well what?

- What was your question?

- Oh. Can't think of anything.

- Then you're just going to have to start again.

- I don't really see a point this time.

- Oh?

- Why is that?

- Because I know I'm not going to be able to think of anything.

- You don't even want to try?

- Nope.

- Really?

- It's a complete waste of time.

- Complete?

- Entirely.

- You don't know that.

- I'll just have to start again eventually anyways.

- So, you don't want to have to go back to the beginning?

- Not especially.

- That's not going to work.

- Not even remotely.

- Why?

- Well, you can't just not start again.

- It's imposssible.

- Well, what if I went to the middle without needing to start at all?

- How do you propose to do that?

- You haven't really thought that through yet.

- Quite obviously.

- Surely it must have been done before.

- Never

- Not even once.

- There's no record of it.

- Well, there wouldn't be, would there?

- Explain.

- If everything was half way through, then you wouldn't be able to start recording anything.

- That's true.

- Then, by that stream of thought, it may have happened before.

- In theory.

- Can I try that then.

- it couldn't hurt.

- Back to the middle then.

- You're move.

- Can't think of anything.

- Guess it isn't possible then.

- Guess not.

- You'll have to try it from the beginning again.

- Do I have to start again?

- Of course.

- Why shouldn't you?

- I've already started a lot.

- Then maybe you should try it another way

- I've done that already.

- Then, this time, try being forceful.

- Like how?

- Be assertive

- That ought to catch some attention at very least

- Really?

- In theory.

- Okay. I think...!

- Continue.

- I feel...!

- Yes, go on.

- I want....!

- That's good, keep going.

- Can't think of anything.

- Not going to work.

- Can't think of anything!

- An exclaimation point won't change anything

- People don't generally like that kind of negativity.

- Nobody will listen to that kind of outlook

- They just won't buy it.

- Even with gusto?

- Especially with gusto.

- Then how should I go about doing it?

- Good question.

- Be firm

- But soft.

- Stern

- But understanding.

- Honest

- But not blunt.

- Strong

- Yet yielding.

- I'm not sure if I could do that.

- Then why don't you start?

- Why don't you start, if you're so good?

- Can't right now.

- It's in the rules

- Then can you help me out?

- In theory

- How do you feel?

- Fine

- Fine, like how?

- What do you mean "Like how?"

- What do you mean "Fine?"

- I don't follow.

- Then lead.

- What are you talking about?

- How did you mean fine?

- Fine as in the slang sense; Sexually attractive

- Or fine in first sense, which suggest thin, like a string of thread

- Or fine as in a debt owed.

- How would I feel a debt owed?

- You don't know the half of it.

- Okay then, why would I mean that?

- And that's what your being asked.

- Or did you mean "fine" as in alright?

- Alright.

- Well, which was it?

- What?

- How did you mean it?

- I told you, fine as in good.

- You feel good?

- Yes.

- Good like angelic?

- Or good as in state of events

- Or good as in happy or content

- Whatever. Good as in good.

- Noted

- I'm not sure if this is working.

- What about it?

- The part where you question everything I say.

- Then why don't you try asking the questions.

- Really?

- No.

- That's too bad.

- Why, did you remember your question?

- No.

- Then what would you have asked?

- Honestly?

- If it suits you.

- Nothing important.

- You've been told, you shouldn't be judging that.

- What authority have you got?

- I don't know.

- Are you a minority of some kind?

- Not that I know of.

- Well, are you an activist, then?

- No.

- Are you political?

- I don't even vote.

- Are you religious.

- Can't really say so, no.

- Are you a homosexual?

- I don't think so.

- Are you-

- Wait, you don't think so.

- No.

- But your not sure?

- Well-

- Do you often dream about sexual encounters with one or more people of the same gender?

- I don't really remember any, but dreams are so el- (usive)

- Have you ever had a sexual encounter with anyone of your own gender?

- Why does any of this matter?

- Because if you're different you need to be dealt with accordingly.

- So have you or have you not had these kinds of sexual encouter?

- I don't much like this line of questioning. What if I'd said I was religious.

- But, you didn't.

- No, but I'd like to now.

- Did you convert?

- I suppose.

- Just now?

- Yes. Just now.

- To what?

- I'm not sure.

- Islam?

- Judaism?

- Buddhism?

- Wicca?

- Christianity?

- Yeah, that one.

- What denomination?

- I don't know, the one closest.

- Closest to what?

- Me, I guess.

- What does this have to do with you?

- Well, it is my religion, isn't it?

- No, it's the worlds religion.

- You're just borrowing it.

- Oh. Then, I'm not sure which denomination.

- Then, are you implying that you choose to practice unorganized religion.

- Sure, why not?

- Can't be filed then?

- What! But I've turned a new leaf. I swear I have.

- Won't hold up, sorry.

- Conclusion:

- You have no authority on the matter.

- What matter was it again?

- It doesn't matter now since you haven't any authority on it.

- Start again.

- Alright.

- It's been done.

- It's old news.

- Well, it worked once, you've got to at least give me credit for the effort.

- That is certainly not true!

- Back to the begining for you.

- How unnerving.

- You start.

- Again?

- It's the natural progression of things.

- And what's the unnatural progression of things?

- That's a very good question.

- Well, are you going to answer it?

- Depends.

- On what?

- The context of the question.

- It's order in line.

- It's length.

- Not this again.

- First things first.

- How did you mean the question?

- I don't know, I meant it how I said it, I guess.

- And how was that?

- You tell me.

- Well, did you mean it as a question you actually want answered?

- Or?

- Or did you mean it as a proposition?

- A propostion for what?

- In that case, there is no unnatural progression of things.

- You're lying!

- Impossible.

- It's against the rules

- I don't care what it is, I'm absolutely sure that you were leading into something and I want to know what.

- Did you just say that you don't care about the rules?

- Yes, I suppose I did, why?

- Am I to imply from this that you were propositioning?

- Towards what?

- The unnatural progression.

- But I thought you just told me that unnatural progression doesn't exist.

- Wel, that was before I knew your opinion on the rules.

- Oh! Then, Yes I was.

- Well, there are things then.

- Which things?

- Things you could do to get ahead.

- Like what?

- Everything has it's price, you know.

- It isn't just a saying.

- Well, what's your price then?

- What have you got.

- Nothing really.

- As in not a thing?

- How many other ways can it be taken?

- You haven't lost everything, have you?

- Should I have started with something to lose, then?

- Not necessarily.

- Did you?

- No.

- Oh. One of those.

- Start again.

- But, how can I-

- Shut it.

- Start again.

- Oh my God!

- God!?!

- What?

- Where?

- You're not a holy man, are you?

- Define, "Holy."

- You are, aren't you?

- Not literally.